The last month has been quite the
odyssey. I did my first trunk show in a few years and was pleased to see that the customers from back in the day still like my jewelry enough to buy it! (
hahaha!) I went to my first
gun show ever! No, not for kicks. I was a vendor, but don't worry I won't be changing my name to "Beads and Bullets". It was interesting. Nothing like a room full of testosterone and gun toting
fellas to make a girl feel like a lady. Doors were held open for me (something my husband always does.. but it was nice to have a total stranger do it for a change), I got more "yes ma'am(s)" than I knew what to do with. I didn't get rich, but I am hoping it has possibilities. I will definitely be doing it again!
The real adventure was my trip to the other side of the Mississippi! Someone I used to work for offered me a trip to
Las Vegas for a trade show and some how... I ended up in Georgia! That's where we get today's blog post...
The Adventures of Sybil and Super-Geek!
Day 1... He was tardy for the party.
Once upon an autumn morning a not so young, not so wide-eyed girl accepted a "job". To protect the not so innocent... we will call her Sybil. She was told her day would start at 730am. Sybil knew full well that her travel companion had a reputation of arriving late.... two and a half hours later the man (we will name him Super-Geek) that she was going to work with arrived at the agreed upon meeting place to start the trip east. A couple of minutes into it, they hadn't even left town, and already she wondered what she had gotten herself into. You see.. Super-Geek is no ordinary human. He has superpowers (more on those later) and speaks several languages. Unfortunately for Sybil, one of those languages is code. Yes... Code. As in the code that will operate a flood detection system that is operated by a laser, bolts that are some how embedded into concrete along with
doohickeys and thingamabobs, wired to a motherboard with a
thing-a-ma-doodle, that operates said system. Poor Sybil was spoken to in a language she did not comprehend. She got detailed instruction as to why a period needed to be in a particular place to achieve a particular response from one or all of the parts of this flood warning system. Sybil tried in vain to explain to Super-Geek that she did not speak this language called Code. Three hours into their travel they arrived in Houston! After almost 3hrs of shopping for merchandise for the trade show they'd be working... they were on the road again. Some 6 hours (filled with words like bits, bytes, and parses) later, they crossed the "Mighty Mississippi". She looked forward to seeing New Orleans... and she did! Unfortunately it was from the highway at 70mph. Another 4hours filled with code would take them to their next stop... Mobile, Alabama. Sybil and Super-Geek arrived in Mobile just before midnight and stayed (in separate rooms) at a Comfort Inn that was, shall we say, not comfortable at all. How did she end up here. The hotel was dirty, with stains on the walls and ceiling and worst of all.... questionable stains on the sheets and cigarette burns in both bedspreads. She spent a couple of hours crying, had dinner (a PB&J sandwich she'd packed... don't knock it!... it beats the donuts I was offered for dinner), and trying to forget the super powers on the road trip with no turn signals and people getting cut-off on the road. It was a harrowing journey but she'd made the halfway point alive.
Day 2 ... Is it just me or does Alabama go on forever!?!
It started with temps in the 20's and Sybil wondering if this would be the day she met her maker. You see, one of Super-Geek's super powers is that he can "measure the space between cars, and when there is an opening... (he) take(s) it!". While the average human uses something called a turn signal, he uses his vast knowledge of mathematics and calculates distance and velocity to change lanes. Even 18-wheelers were not immune to his powers. Something she witnessed first hand on numerous occasions during the 5days she spent with Super-Geek. With each incident, she saw her life flash before her eyes. After crossing Alabama and the
Pascagoula River,they arrived at their destination at 1pm. Finally.... Hot-
Lanta!! Sybil was never happier to see a La Quinta in her life!! At last... a clean hotel!! After check-in they proceeded to the Hyatt Regency Exhibit Hall with only a few stops along the way for things that Super-Geek had left behind. Apparently Superior Memory is not one of his powers. Lunch was ... wait for it.... banana's!! Yes, those little yellow fruits that monkeys are so fond of! Arriving at the exhibit hall at 5pm they set up (most of ) the booth in 2hrs. Two asthma attacks later, one hour after the hall closed and about 30min after asking Super-Geek.. "can I choke you!?!" they headed back to their hotel 20min away. Dinner was a glorious and welcome 30min at
Chez Subway. Back in her "suite", Sybil plotted her escape! She missed her husband and stinky dog desperately. But her sense of responsibility and work ethic kept her from jumping ship and returning home, even though her friends were telling her to get the heck out of there.
Day 3.... forever known as the day he lost the Atlanta Hyatt.
The day started early and with another "Free Breakfast", Super-Geeks favorite words. The city of Hot-
Lantaoo at the Hyatt and only $5.
oo a mere two blocks over and apparently tolerance to extreme cold is one of his super powers. As they get out of the van Sybil asks, "are you sure you know where the hotel is from here?" Super-Geek smiled. "Yes!.. it's that building right there!!", he said pointing to a nondescript high rise in the heart of Atlanta's business district. At this point Sybil learned of another of Super-Geek's abilities. He is able to move at high speeds at the blink of an eye. Because that is exactly how long it took for him to disappear. She looked up after getting her laptop bag out of the van and he was gone! She walked to the end of the parking lot to find he was half a block away. By the time she got to the corner he was a block away. Wheezing in the icy Atlanta morning she tried to keep up. She began to cry when she realized where Super-Geek was leading her. At the same moment he looked up at the building he'd raced to. In disgust and began to pace. She could see him muttering something and waving his arms in the air. He was upset about something. Sybil began to lose it! A personality that she'd never experienced arose from deep inside her. Like a Banshee she began to scream, fighting back tears and the urge to kill. He was LOST!!! "THAT'S THE
FRIGGIN' MARRIOTT....!!!" she wailed. Freezing and with tears streaming down her face she glared at him and turned to show him... "THE HYATT IS BEHIND US!!!" she screamed motioning to the hotel on the previous block. Uphill he raced passing her by as she wheezed in the cold. He went into the hotel, leaving her on the corner trying desperately to compose her self and steel herself for the long day ahead. It was after all only 730am!! He raced back to ask "are you tired already?". "NO! I'm having an asthma attack!" she answered and back into the hotel he went. Hypo
thermic, wheezy, teary, and grateful that her husband gave her a stun gun instead of a pistol, she entered the Hyatt. Compassion is not one of Super-Geeks powers as she was about to find out. The day improved after an emotional meltdown in the peach scented ladies room of the Hyatt. Lunch and Dinner were courtesy of the convention and quite tasty. A far cry from donuts and bananas.
Day 4 .... Losing the Interstate.
Another cold day begins. It had started to feel routine... a hotel breakfast and a harrowing trip on an unfamiliar highway. But this morning brought curb service! Yes, apparently Super-Geek realized that he was traveling with a mere mortal. Sybil is girl more comfortable on the Tropic of Cancer than the icy tundra. There was no getting lost in the cold, or screaming like a lunatic in the heart of Atlanta. Sybil was at ease today. She decided to try to make the best of it. The end of the day meant the beginning of the trip home. She dealt with another day of his
OCD and lack of social skills that made for an uncomfortable journey. Today Super-Geek did not lose the hotel, but he did manage to misplace the Interstate. Evidently a Built-in Compass isn't a super power he possesses either, much to Sybil's dismay. They end up in a neighborhood filled with character. "Stop and turn around... we're going in the wrong direction", she shouts after he admits they are on the wrong road. They travel another block before he decides to listen to her. Like a beacon in the dark she spots it! "Prince Hall!! It's a Masonic Lodge!.. pull over!!!" she shouts. Before he comes to a stop she's halfway out the door. A local chapter of Eastern Star is just leaving the building. The ladies were gracious and ever so helpful explaining where we'd need to turn to get back on the highway. Just then a kind Mason in a black fez stops and offers to lead us to the right highway. In spite of their directions and guidance....once again Super-Geek ends up on the wrong road. Foiled by yet another power!! The Ability to Tailgate, a power he'd used at every opportunity on this trip. After taking another wrong exit they are finally on track!! Nightfall comes and so does dinner at
IHop! Midnight arrives like a choir of Angels. In the distance, behind a Lowe's hardware store.. the
Microtel in
Opelika, Alabama. (seriously... can you hear the choir?) A pristine economy hotel with perfectly white bedsheets and spotless bathrooms. It was the best 5hrs of sleep she'd had in days.
Day 5... The not so long road home.
There were 13hours of highway ahead of them. Sybil was ready. After all at the end was home. Over the course of the previous 4days she had somehow managed to break through Super-Geeks force field to find a somewhat normal mortal. He was funny and had stories to tell. He no longer spoke in code. He shared stories of his childhood. Of doing battle with a bully in school by beaning the oaf over the head with his book bag and becoming friends with the boy that once taunted him. They discussed their travels through different areas of Mexico with their respective spouses. They cruised through Alabama where she saw her first snowfall in a
piney forest. Whisked through Lake Charles, Louisiana at sunset. Just as quickly they breezed over the bridge at the Texas state line. She knew she was almost home when she saw the refineries in Galveston. Sulphur never smelled so good. Home was only 4hrs away, only a quick zip through Houston. The road was beginning to look familiar. "Hey look! there's
Buc-
ee!", Sybil squealed. (For those of you who are unfamiliar,
Buc-
ee is a beaver. His overbite graces billboards for a truck stop along
IH-10 on the road near
Luling,
Tx) That chubby cheeked little beaver never looked so good. The stress of the trip was beginning to wane. Home was soon on the horizon and the Tower of the Americas was like a lighthouse on the shore guiding them into town. Sybil was once again in the town where she'd spent all her life. The trip ended in the same parking lot where it began. Only this time her husband was picking up a woman changed. She arrived a little weary from her travels and with a couple of super powers of her own. She had her patience tested repeatedly and passed. She learned that she is smarter than she gives herself credit for. She also discovered that she is not capable of harming another human being even when pushed to her limits. And last but not least.... she arrived safely.
The End.
I'd love to travel for a trade show again someday.... but most definitely with different people. Hopefully the next Super Hero I travel with will be my husband! He did save a child from an attacker in a grocery store once upon a time.... but that will be a story for another day.
